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When smart people talk about stupidity...
Nov. 16th, 2009 09:18 pm...this type of hilarity occurs:
Me: Dear Idiot Landlord, Please stop being stupid in my general direction. Thank you.
James: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think it is fundamentally impossible for an idiot to not be stupid ... in any direction.
TD: Stupid is omnidirectional. It also acts like a low pressure system and draws in dumb from all other directions through what Dylan describes as 'Idiot Wind', ultimately causing a ThunderStupid.
Billy: TD, I have witnessed cardioid stupidity. And if arranged correctly multiple idiots can cancel stupidity out in a given direction, while intensifying the effect in another direction. Its fascinating from afar, but requires hazard pay to witness up close.
TD: Actually, stupidity is impervious to phase cancellation because it is both a wave and a particle. It does share certain traits with light (as opposed to sound) in that it can be refracted into a spectrum of idiocy when filtered through the internet. (My suspicion is that the cardiod pattern was merely an omni pattern that encountered an obstacle in the path, perhaps a pocket thesaurus or a small clue-by-four.) (And of course highly concentrated ThunderStupids can create a Topical Depression, then Topical Storm, then Sty-clone.)
Billy: Hm, that is possible. But you can't deny that there are amplifying interactions between multiple sources of stupid. interestingly they do not have to be in close proximity for this to occur.
TD: Indeed, which is why the Limbaugh scale measures exponentially, like Fujita or Richter. Also, unlike gravity, stupidity has a tangible mass. There is much to be learned and studied.
Billy: Since stupid has mass and radiates, if you arranged enough idiots in a sphere, would they immediately collapse into a wanton singularity from which no sane thought could escape? Or would they explode into a stupornova, spreading their idiocy across the universe? What we need to study this phenomenon is a particle stuporcollider.
TD: Well, a linear stuporcollider exists, not-so-secretly buried on the north-south meridian border between Mississippi and Alabama. Unfortunately, no one nearby can stay intelligent enough to study it. In 2001, the Millenium StuporComputer went online to study the so-called Big Bung Theory, but after 11 months of intense calculation and study the large array of servers was reduced to the collective computing power of a Disney Princesses novelty calculator and the clock speed of an actual clock.
Me: Dear Idiot Landlord, Please stop being stupid in my general direction. Thank you.
James: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I think it is fundamentally impossible for an idiot to not be stupid ... in any direction.
TD: Stupid is omnidirectional. It also acts like a low pressure system and draws in dumb from all other directions through what Dylan describes as 'Idiot Wind', ultimately causing a ThunderStupid.
Billy: TD, I have witnessed cardioid stupidity. And if arranged correctly multiple idiots can cancel stupidity out in a given direction, while intensifying the effect in another direction. Its fascinating from afar, but requires hazard pay to witness up close.
TD: Actually, stupidity is impervious to phase cancellation because it is both a wave and a particle. It does share certain traits with light (as opposed to sound) in that it can be refracted into a spectrum of idiocy when filtered through the internet. (My suspicion is that the cardiod pattern was merely an omni pattern that encountered an obstacle in the path, perhaps a pocket thesaurus or a small clue-by-four.) (And of course highly concentrated ThunderStupids can create a Topical Depression, then Topical Storm, then Sty-clone.)
Billy: Hm, that is possible. But you can't deny that there are amplifying interactions between multiple sources of stupid. interestingly they do not have to be in close proximity for this to occur.
TD: Indeed, which is why the Limbaugh scale measures exponentially, like Fujita or Richter. Also, unlike gravity, stupidity has a tangible mass. There is much to be learned and studied.
Billy: Since stupid has mass and radiates, if you arranged enough idiots in a sphere, would they immediately collapse into a wanton singularity from which no sane thought could escape? Or would they explode into a stupornova, spreading their idiocy across the universe? What we need to study this phenomenon is a particle stuporcollider.
TD: Well, a linear stuporcollider exists, not-so-secretly buried on the north-south meridian border between Mississippi and Alabama. Unfortunately, no one nearby can stay intelligent enough to study it. In 2001, the Millenium StuporComputer went online to study the so-called Big Bung Theory, but after 11 months of intense calculation and study the large array of servers was reduced to the collective computing power of a Disney Princesses novelty calculator and the clock speed of an actual clock.
